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Thread: Time for a smile

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Stratford upon Avon, boat Poole
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    Default Time for a smile

    A group of old university friends, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for a reunion lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive and wore mini-skirts.

    Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the food and service were good and the beer selection was excellent.

    Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet, and it was good value for money.

    Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

    Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.




    Sorry!
    Mike
    Last edited by dmmbruce; 4th December 2015 at 12:42 PM.
    Nothing works on an old boat, except the skipper.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Fremantle, Western Australia
    Posts
    292

    Default Re: Time for a smile

    G'day Mike,
    So navigation at 80 will be interesting. We can go to the same place and it will be a new experience every time. Wonder if it will work with the wife as well? Cheers mate.
    Lou

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Stratford upon Avon, boat Poole
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    Default Re: Time for a smile

    The truth hurts.


    I was having trouble with my computer so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over

    Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

    As he left, I asked him what had been the problem. He said it was an ID ten T error. I asked what it was and he said it was quite common. Just write it down and I would understand.

    I did, and I do!!!!


    I used to quite like Eric!


    Mike

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    IDIOT
    Last edited by dmmbruce; 10th December 2015 at 03:40 PM.
    Nothing works on an old boat, except the skipper.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Time for a smile

    Thanks

  5. #5

    Default Re: Time for a smile

    The skipper of a fishing boat which ran aground during the early hours of this morning, was found to be more than twice over the blood alcohol limit for sailing.

    Authorities have said that they have no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.

    __________________________________________________ _______

    An Englishman, an Aussie and an Irishman are discussing pubs.

    The Englishman says "Our local pub is excellent. After you buy 4 beers, they give you one free!"

    The Aussie says: "Ours is even better - you get a free beer with every three you buy!"

    The Irishman says: "At our local pub you get free drinks all night and then you get *** at the end of it."

    The Aussie and pom are impressed. "Where is this pub" they ask.

    The Irishman says: "Sure I've never been there meself, but me sister goes there all the time."

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Travelling on a bus in Thailand recently, an absolutely gorgeous Thai girl got aboard. She was wearing very skin-tight clothing, and looked fantastic.

    Then she noticed me, seemed to find me attractive, started smiling at me, and hitching her skirt up higher...

    I was saying to myself:

    "Don't get an erection"
    "Don't get an erection"
    "PLEASE don't get an erection!"


    But she did.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Stratford upon Avon, boat Poole
    Posts
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    Default Re: Time for a smile

    Wicked!


    Mike
    Nothing works on an old boat, except the skipper.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Time for a smile

    Areal O'Hanlon at his best! Olympic Sailing
    https://youtu.be/3gPjMvTmE2g

  8. #8

    Default Re: Time for a smile

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnT View Post
    Areal O'Hanlon at his best! Olympic Sailing
    https://youtu.be/3gPjMvTmE2g
    A classic, but this is pretty good too:


  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Stratford upon Avon, boat Poole
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    Default Re: Time for a smile

    I hope we haven't had this one before.

    ------------------------------------------------


    Things you can only say at Christmas


    1: I prefer breasts to legs.

    2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

    3: Smother the butter all over the breasts.

    4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!

    5: I've never seen a better spread!

    6: I fancy a little dark meat for a change.

    7: Are you ready for seconds yet?

    8: It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

    9: Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

    10: Don't play with your meat!

    11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.

    12: Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

    13: I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!

    14: You still have a little bit on your chin.

    15: How long will it take after you put it in.

    16: You'll know it's ready when it pops up

    17: Just pull the end and wait for the bang.

    18: That's the biggest bird I've ever had!

    19: I've been gobbling nuts all morning

    20: Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more




    Happy Christmas everyone, and a good New Year too.

    Mike
    Nothing works on an old boat, except the skipper.

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